i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
