Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
