Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
