Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
