Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
