As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
