I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
