I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
