Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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