Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
