Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
