Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
