Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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