I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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