i need an iv and a liver transplant
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
