if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
