i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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