wat bout pragnant strippers??
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
porn star boner night. come get it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
