too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
