We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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