That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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