If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
