sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
