i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
