new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
