The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
