if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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