talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
