...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
