Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
