Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This baby is an asshole
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
