you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
