I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
