can we get nightvision for the apartment?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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