So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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