i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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