in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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