Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
