My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
