im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
