just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
