You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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