Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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