My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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