You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
