Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
