Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
