I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
