I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
