Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
